Once we got back, we said our goodbyes, which wasn't as hard as I thought it would be and yet was way harder than I thought it would be. I'm just in such a confused place, and he makes it clear what I want, and yet everything is so foggy. I know.....none of this makes sense unless you are me.
Anyway I headed to the hardware store to get insulating plastic to cover the windows in my room, because it's getting chilly and decided to make a quick stop into old navy to check their deals on sweaters. Lucky for me they had buy one get one 75% off, so I was able to get 2 sweaters for $18. I should be set for winter now, unless I find some super awesome deals.
Then I put up plastic on the windows, and played my wonderful guitar for an hour. I headed down stairs to do a cardio dance workout video, showered off and made some delicious fahitas for dinner. And suddenly as I sat down to finally work on my paper things got rough.
I just couldn't focus as I thought about decisions that need to be made for my future. My mind wanders to the choices and possibilities and I go crazy with fear and anxiety. Recently I've even thought I need to see a doctor about my anxiety issues, because sometimes it gets really out of control. But today I was able to calm myself down with this thought:
Sometimes I feel so impatient to get to the next point in my life that I forget to stop and marvel at the crazy life that is flying right before my eyes. So in the next few weeks I'm going to try to enjoy the chaos and forget about my future.
Here goes nothing....