Sunday, April 29, 2012

Day 365- April 29th: Final post?

Well....I made it! 365 posts in 365 days. I have to say that I did a far better job of keeping up on this blog than in my diary. For those of you who read it, thank you! I hope you found some knowledge, or listened to a good song, or learned something interesting while reading. I suggest that everyone take part in some sort of reflection similar to this. Jot yourself a sentence each day, or take a picture of something important. It is so intriguing to look back and see how much has happened and how much I have grown in the last 365 days.
Is this the end? Of this blog, I believe so. However you should check out my other blogs. I'm hoping to start training for a half-marathon again this week. If you are interested please read about it at Training. I also started a brand new blog tonight. This new blog will focus on my preparations for traveling and my experiences in Albania. It also has a super cool title: Tiara Teaching and Traveling in Tirana.
I will leave you with the most important thing I learned during my 365 days of blogging: There are many important things in life, and  a lot of unimportant things in life. But each thing has its importance in that particular time and place.

Day 364-April 28th: family

Today was spent with my family. I tried to best to soak up as much of them as I could, knowing that there are no more major holidays before I leave for Albania. I got to spend a little bit of time talking to my Grandma about her new apartment, and spent time listening to my Grandpa rant and rave about the government and show me endless picture of people I don't really care about. I also let me niece comb my hair until there was none left and took many, many turns hold my new nephew. (pictures to follow) I had planned on beginning work on my t-shirt quilt with my other grandma, but there just wasn't enough time. *sigh*
I also got to spend the evening sipping delicious beers with my brothers.

Day 363-April 27: Icy cream date night

Tonight I had the pleasure of taking my niece out to ice cream at my favorite ice cream place in my hometown. It was fun to get a half an hour all to ourselves. She didn't want to take pictures until I suggested we take some funny ones. Then she was super excited.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Day 362-April 26th: names

So as a teacher, I have a very long list of names I will not use for children I may have someday. I also have a list of names I WILL use. Unfortunately they are all boys names, or modified versions of them. I have only one girl name chosen.

To be honest, I'm doubting more and more that I will ever be able to have kids of my own, but time will tell. If this is the list (5 names) after a year who knows what it will be like 5 years from now.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Day 361-April 25th: :(

Today we finished taking the MCA's! Meaning that I can finally teach my students real things again :D

I also found out some very sad news. I've been working with one particular student in her math work. She came in far above grade level in reading, but was at about a 1st grade math level. I've been working with her for 15 minutes at the end of the day on basic math skills, and I've been very impressed with her progress. I think she is at about where she should have been in the beginning of 3rd grade. I was looking very forward to my last 6 weeks with her, and using it as an opportunity to really practice what we have learned. However I found out today that Monday will be her last day, and therefore I only have two 15 minute sessions left with her. Almost cried. I cannot become this attached to students. That is just not healthy at all.

Speaking of not healthy I have this weird partial sickness thing going on. scratchy throat, stuffy nose, but not bad enough to notice much. just annoying.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Day 360- April 24th: dreams vs. reality

What is better: dreams or reality? I once wrote a paper on this. Sophomore year of high school. Upon first thought I immediately went to dreams. But as I continued to think about it I realized how inaccurate that was. Dreaming is phenomenal. It allows you to be whomever and whatever you want, and that is worth a lot. But When you actually experience and feel emotions it is worth everything. When I was little I'd dream about love, but the real thing was nothing like I imagined it to be. I dreamed of finding a passion, and now that I've found one I'm not sure I'll ever be able to let it go. And now I dream of Albania, and I cannot wait to get there and find out what it is really like.

So to answer the Great Gatsby writing prompt from 6 years ago, I'd like to say that my answer has been proven over and over again. Reality far outweighs dreams.

Monday, April 23, 2012

Day 359-April 23rd: 4 months

4 months from now I will be leaving on a plane to Albania. Holy Wow! so much to do and so little time....

Today I was required to go to the job fair even though I have a job. I walked around just taking in the stress of it all and being so relieved that I didn't have to prepared and nervous. Talked to a few school district in Alaska and gave them my resume just for the heck of it.

I also got an e-mail from Taiwan today offering me a job. If anyone is searching for a job they need someone in the beginning of June. Let me know if you are interested. Housing, living stipend are available, and I don't think you need a teaching degree for the job. Just a degree of some sort.

....Back to the large to-do list.

Day 358-April 22: from cold and tense to warm and loose

I was so sore when I woke up this morning in my tent, and I couldn't figure out why. When I got home I headed to the gym, and felt so much better after moving. I honestly think I was just so tense and cold all weekend long that I needed to warm and loosen up. I spent the evening cleaning and relaxing. I also remembered that I wanted to post about this song on Friday, but forgot. I heard it on my way to work and fell in love with it.

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Day 357-April 21st: The Larvae Lounge

It was a rough, roller-coaster of emotions day. I started out the morning with a summit, and then thankfully headed into town for some real food and a bloody. Then I spent the rest of the afternoon sitting by the wood stove drinking more summit and wishing that someone had a copy of the roses 2 so that I could listen to Broke Down Palace, Return of the Grievous Angel, and One More Love Song, among others. The weekend wasn't awkward at all (sarcastic) but I survived it as well as I could. Beer, Whiskey, cookies and sleep.

Mostly by the end of the night I just felt relief. I'm so happy and content with life, so why should I let anything make me feel otherwise? Once I realized this I was able to just go to sleep realizing the sooner the morning came, the sooner I could come back to my amazing life in the cities.

Thought it was a rough weekend (as the barn always is) I cannot wait to go back in July!
The bands were absolutely incredible!

Day 356-April 20th: write-in

Today I was in charge at school. We had a write-in for the alphabet books kids are making. I was so proud of them! They worked super hard and are now all on their final drafts.

After work I head out to the Larvae Lounge for the summer party. I danced (for the final time) to some Magic Celebration Factory. Overall it was a fun night.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Day 356-April 19th: Levon Helm

Today Levon Helm, the drummer of The Band, died of throat cancer. What a great loss to the music world. In his honor I post my2  favorite songs from The Band. Number one an upbeat song, and number 2 a slower, extremely depressing song. Because I'm in both moods I find it highly necessary.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Day 355-Arpil 18th: women

Today during the MCA I read more about Albania. There was a lot of interesting information about how they treat women. Frankly, the book is 10 years old, so who knows what is true. But the one thing they mention about women that I was on board with was the following proverb:
"The hand that has hurt a woman is unfit for anything in the world"Love it!

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Day 354-April 17th: Moments

Today my 3rd graders took the first 2 sections of the math MCA. yuck! what a long and boring test. Luckily it allowed for some great time for me to complete my homework assignments for tomorrow.

I spent my evening going to see a marvelous chick flick with Becky. Turns out the movie was based on a true story, thus saving my belief that men can be genuinely sweet (I've been having some doubts recently.) Unfortunately it made me long to fall in love again. Looks like that will just have to be put on the long list of things I want to do, seeing as my plate is a little full at the moment, and I don't think I want to stay in Albania for my whole life. Time will tell. The movie was mostly about how all of these little moments make up a person and who they are. I was thinking back to my favorite moments. I was trying to remember the first time I told someone I loved them, and I couldn't for the life of me remember it. But I remember him saying it to me, and I should have taken those words and all the knowledge that came with them. I also remember the second time he said it. Also should have listened to the words that followed it.

As I was talking to Becky tonight I realized that in truth I'm living out the exact words he told me, because I repeated them to her tonight while I was assuring her that we fall in love way more that once in life. And in truth, I believe it. And I have to believe the words he said, because actually they were exactly true: "I love you, but it doesn't mean we are meant to be together forever."

Day 353-April 16: New Necklace

For years and years I have worn a music note or treble clef around my neck to remind myself of the power music has, and it's importance to me. A few weeks ago I was cleaning out my jewelry (to downsize for Europe) and I found an old necklace I've never really worn. It was one that I found in a purse I bought on a garage sale about 4 years ago.  A super long chain with an anchor, bird, and gross colored brown jem. It never really matched any of my outfits (other than my pirate costume for Halloween 2010) so I almost tossed it. Then I decided that I loved the bird, and all the meaning behind it. Freedom and exploration, and the songs they sing. Such a perfect symbol of everything I want the next few years of my life to be. So I went to Sara Cura, and bought a new $7 chain, used some tools to take apart the necklace, and created my own new necklace. I've been wearing it for about a week and a half now, and I love it!

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Day 352-April 15th: Why

I keep seeing this saying on facebook that says "Ever look at your ex and wonder to yourself why you ever dated them?" I've never thought this by looking at any of my exes, but thinking back on the time spent with them I have. And it sucks that the only honest reason I can come up with is love. Because I can't be mad at myself for loving someone. That would just be wrong. Can I be mad at myself for continuing?

Day 351-April 14th: The MN ZOO

Today I worked a little bit of extra time, and we got to take the kidos to the MN zoo to see the cute little baby animals on the farm. It was a wonderful time. Unfortunately we made the mistake of letting them play at the park before we hiked the mile back to the car. So the majority of the kids got carried. Very sore arms. Afterward me and Jen headed to our "co-worker meeting" (aka an excuse to purchase food of sorts and talk.) I had some delicious ice cream and headed home for some homework and an early bed time.

Day 350-April 13th: First Grade

I got a message from one of the first grade teachers at MIST today announcing to me that I will be teaching first grade next year :D we've been in contact for a few weeks now, and she's been answering my questions about moving, the school, and the culture. She welcomed me to the MIST family, and I'm looking forward to working with the youngsters.

Friday, April 13, 2012

Day 349- April 12th: one proud teacher

I felt like a very lucky teacher today. I spent most of my day taking small groups of low math kids and work with them on practice MCA test questions. It was amazing to see the light go on in their heads from things we learned way back in September. We also worked on finding fractions of a set. For example: I have 9 cupcakes. Someone eats 1/3 of the cupcakes. How many cupcakes do they eat. This was a very hard concept for the kids, but I'm proud to say that after a lot of hard math work they are starting to get it.

I also had to make my first "your child is being naughty in school" phone call home. But it went well, and the parent promised to talk to their child and ask for a follow up phone call next week.

I stayed after school to help out at fine arts night. This is a night when third, fourth, and fifth graders all show off their art work, music skills and science fair project. It was so cute to watch them sing and to play their drums/ xylophones. And I was very impressed with their self portraits and superhero sculptures.

I'm one proud teacher :D

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Day 348-April 11th: Trampled by Turtles Day!

Happy one month left of my school! I found out today that I passed all my state exams. Just have to finish one more month of service and 3 more class session and I'm done :D

Also, more importantly, happy Trampled by Turtles day! The mayor of Duluth and Minneapolis showed up at the concert tonight to declare today a Trampled by Turtles day. Love it! They also did stage dives into the crowd. It was an amazing show, ranks among the best I've ever seen. During "Wait so Long," and "Alone" I almost cried, and I'm convinced that if they would have played my song (Empire) I would have. And even thought it's nearly midnight and I'm putting in a 13 hour day at the school tomorrow I'm not one bit tired. I'm going to need a large cup of coffee in the morning.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Day 347-April 10th: Highlights

2 Highlights to my day:
1. Hanging on the elliptical while listening to almost all of Trampled By Turtles new album. This band is just so amazing, and I cannot wait for their concert tomorrow night. So far this is my favorite song from their new album:

2. The adorable pictures my mother sent me of Quincey.

My brother has got to stop having adorable kids or I might start wanting one of my own....

Monday, April 9, 2012

Day 346- April 9th: destination versus goals

I got this quote today. Love it. I still feel super duper lazy. I have so much to do, but I just don't even know where to begin.

What you get by reaching your destination isn't nearly as important as what you become by reaching your goals - what you will become is the winner you were born to be!
- Zig Ziglar

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Day 345- April 8th: Content

I had a pretty good Easter. I'd say it was a great Easter, other than my stomach ache, which was brought on by my own doing. I started out the morning by walking to Dinkytown and treating myself to a mocha. On the way home some Trampled by Turtles came on and I just couldn't help but dance in the middle of the street. Luckily there weren't too many cars around. I stopped at dear Tuttle to swing for 15 minutes and then headed home to make myself some biscuits and gravy. YUM! I sat around for a bit and finished up some work for this week. Then I walked to my favorite morning spot for a Bloody with the brother. I spent my afternoon grilling out. After a few beers and some food I decided I needed another walk, so I headed out for a 2 mile bout around the neighborhood. More dancing insued. I just can't help but be content with my life right now.
I'm not sure where the frustration from yesterday went. I've just been feeling so damn lazy recently because my schoolwork is winding down, and I already have a job, but it's too early to start much preparation. But I should not feel bad about enjoying myself. I worked my ass off this last year and I deserve a break. So all that is left is happiness and dancing :D

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Day 344- April 7th: AGH!

I'm beyond frustrated with myself. And I made some delicious food. Potatoes Au Gratin and ham, potato salad, and banana muffins. And I'm so tired. Time for bed.

Day 343- April 6th: A "good" friday

I had a wonderful good Friday. In fact I would call it a great Friday! I woke up to a text message from my oldest brother telling me his wife's water had broken and that they were headed to the hospital. I of course had to go to work and was a little bit hung over from the vodka shots I had taken the night before. But I got to spend my morning on the track with Hannah and then got to play with bottles. Then Me and Sarah (their oldest daughter) took all the kids to McDonalds for lunch and a movie at the dollar theatre. Jess and me spent the last hour of our day looking for egg dying items and possible birthday presents.

I finished work off to find out that my nephew, Quincy Gray Christenson, had been born at 1:53, weighing 6lbs 10 oz, and 20 and 1/4 inches long. I couldn't wait to find out the name and my dear brother had tried to give me a hint by telling me David Gray was coming to summerfest. Anyway, I'm one proud aunt TT.

I was suppose to have a massage, but it got rescheduled. All the better for me since i would have undone any good at the Pert Near Sandstone show. When I got home a headed over to a friends house to start drinking some delicious beer. The concert was super duper late. There were two openers and the band didn't even get started until 11:00. I danced my ass off for all but the last 2 or 3 songs. My energy at this point was just gone. The really bad part was the "frat couple" next to me making out. I seriously almost threw up at one point. I made it home alive after a scary taxi ride, had some scrambled eggs, and quickly headed to bed, knowing that the next day of work would be rough. 

Friday, April 6, 2012

Day 342-April 5th: Bad for me.

Today I ate way to much "bad for me" food. I had hot Cheetos with lunch, I had a donut for a snack, I had deep fried greasy food as a snack while watching the hockey game with my roomies. YUCK! I mean yum in the moment, but I seriously need to get back to watching what I eat.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Day 341- April 4th: move

Let's take a step back from constantly discussing my future life (although I'd love to talk about the insaneness of trying to get an appointment with Boyton's travel clinic.) I finished my full time student teaching on Monday and since then I have been utterly bored. I've lost all motivation for the very little school work I have left, and my time feels wasted as I simply watch most lessons. I'm still teaching 2 subjects a day, but it just doesn't feel like anything.

I want to be spending my extra time running, but my left ankle is acting up again. I've been using my extra time to simply walk, trying to prepare myself for the training I should start in about 2-3 weeks. Tonight I was dying for a run so I convinced myself that 2 short miles couldn't hurt anything. AGH! I'm now in serious pain, and my half marathon is looking further and further from sight.

I'm so ready to pack my bags and move. I'm just sick of being stuck still. I need to move. And I refer to the word move in way more than one way. I need my life to move forward. I need my career to grow. I need my feet to move so I don't go crazy. I need move away from this place, and see some new scenery. I need to move toward new fear and experiences. Mostly I think I need to move away from the life I thought I wanted, because I don't want it.

5 months ago I was convinced that moving to North Dakota was the best option for me. So glad I was smart enough to reconsider that. I would have ended up the most unhappy person in the world. Time to move on...

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Day 340: April 3rd: One Way Ticket

Ticket purchased! Biggest purchase to date, and probably one of the most important purchases of my life. I briefly hesitated before clicking the "confirm purchase" button. I was on the phone with my mother and asked her if she was ready. She responded with "I don't think I'm the one who needs to be ready sweetie."  I think I was more freaked out about the money (which I get reimbursed for when I show up) than the actual thought of moving.

I was very thoughtful in choosing both the time and location of my layover. I didn't not want to be running through the JFK airport with only 2 hours to get from one place to the next flight. And I certainly didn't want to spend 14 hours by myself in the airport in Istanbul. I also didn't want a 10 hour layover that ended with boarding at 4:20am. Who is up at that hour? Flight leaves at 3:40pm, I have a 6 hour layover in Chicago, 12 hour flight overnight and then 2 hours in Istanbul. Should be alright, though I'm a bit nervous about flying by myself for the first time, especially in such a high stress situation. I'll charge up the ipod and make myself a "freakout" playlist.

Can I just say that there is an extreme thrill in purchasing a ONE WAY ticket somewhere. Cross it off the bucket list.

Monday, April 2, 2012

Day 339-April 2: A marvelous day

Today was my last day of full time student teaching. I just felt as if I was getting the hang of things, but seeing as the MCA exams are in about 2 weeks I was more than happy to give Abby her class back. The rest of this week I will be finishing up my unit plan (finally on the third grade standards) and teaching writers workshop. It seems like nothing.

It was a marvelous day for numerous reasons: I left the school by 3:30pm. What?!?! Then I got to go get half of frozen yogurt with my best friend. YUM! I came home and got an e-mail from Albania informing me that they are going to be paying more than they originally proposed :D and now I'm heading out to the 331 club for some free bluegrass music and 2-4-1 tonics to celebrate my brother's birthday. Did I mention my wonderful short run? What a great day!

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Day 338- April 1st:A day for Civic

Today after work I took dear civic to get his oil changed, and I treated him to a $10 car wash. Lucky him.

I treated myself to coffee this morning with a friend. Turns out he's now married and may be moving to Turkey to teach English. Incredible!

I Also went to Chilly Billy's for some girl time with the bestie and played some soccer with my roommate and his friend. All in all I had a pretty good day. It's making me excited for summer!

Saturday, March 31, 2012

Day 337-March 31: Flower show

I went to bed at about 8:00pm yesterday and therefore woke up at 5:30am to do homework. I headed out for a 6:30am run (with my jogging weapon) and then came home to get ready for work. Today we went to Shoreview and saw the Easter Bunny and we went to the Macy's flower show. I also started looking at tickets :S

Friday, March 30, 2012

Day 336-March 30th: Exhausted

Today we took the 3rd graders to the science museum. I took a group of very hard kids (at my supervisors suggestion.) I got home and all I've wanted to do since is sleep.

I made cookies with my roomie and ate about 3, and now I'm laying in bed at 7:00. Yep, time to sleep.

I also had a mini-freakout this morning. I was driving and thinking about the fun concerts I have in the next month and I realized that I'm seriously going to miss my music life here, something that I have been taking for granted this last year. Time to start going to more shows. I shed two tears, wiped them away and got on with my day.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Day 335-March 29th: Bucket List (the beginning)

You all ready for this? First Draft.

Summer in Minneapolis:
1. Run Half Marathon
2. Ride Mechanical Bull
3. Mickey's Diner
4. Greenway Bike Trail
5. Take a trip to the Gay 90's (It has to be done. sorry....)

Europe: (Not in order)
1. France (Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame, Moulin Rouge, Louvre, Palace of Versailles)
2. Italy (The Colosseum, Cinque Terre, Leaning Tower of Pisa, Venice (gondola) Vatican City)
3. Greece (Athens, Acropolis, Meteora, Delphi Ruins, Melissani Cave, Mount Athos, Vikos Gorge)
4. Ireland (Jameson Distillery, Howth Castle/pier, The cliffs of Moher, The Burren, Guinness Storehouse)
5. Spain (Alhambra, Seville, Ronda)
6. Switzerland (Alps, Salt Mines, The Swiss Path, Swiss National Park, )
7. Belgium (chocolate. That's it.)
8. Prague (Petrin Lookout Tower, clock tower)

This list isn't even complete. How will I get it all in???? I talked to my mother today, and I mean finally talked to her about the move and she said I had such a calmness in my voice that she knew I was making the right decision. Also I think I've slept better this week than any other week this year. Incredible....

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Day 334- March 28th: no freakout?

I'm wondering why I haven't had a freakout about moving to Albania yet. There are several possibilities. 1) I'm so very confident in my decision to go there 2) I'm just too busy with full time teaching at the moment to think about it 3) I am so glad that I finally have this portion of my future figured out, or 4) I still don't believe it is happening.

In my Literature Circle at class today I was talking to kids about how much more scary things can seem in the reality of facing them. I know I won't freak out to the point where I back out of this teaching position, but I can guaranty  you that there will be some sort of mental breakdown involving tears at some point. Probably upon actually buying my ticket or packing up my things.

Anyway, I did have a freakout on Sunday for a far different reason. In the moment it hurt me a lot and seemed like a huge deal, but now that I've had time to consider it and think about it, I'm happy about it.
I went out for some delicious ice cream to catch up with my bestie whom I haven't seen in awhile. We got to talking and as I talked I realized that maybe, in light of where I'm heading and the other news I got on Sunday I can finally make a break for myself. And finding myself. And figuring out what I want. And I'm glad I'm finally on that path :D

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Day 333-March 27th: How?

Sometimes I wonder how I can do all this work. I got to my school at 6:50am this morning and didn't leave until 5:00pm. I then stopped by the library on the way home to check out books for examples for our new writing project. I came home, ate, showered and have been grading papers for 2 hours! that's 12 hours of work, and I'm still not done! and I have class tomorrow. Here is to hoping there is no homework due.

Monday, March 26, 2012

Day 332-March 26th: In love!

There is so much to think about that I'm absolutely overwhelmed. As I told my co-teacher that I got the job today I had a mini-freakout. Luckily I had to throw myself into preparing for my full day of teaching so I couldn't dwell. I thought I'd make a list of the reason I'm already in love with my new job/home.

1. The School Website: read the testimonials from past teachers and you will understand. I also got super excited looking at the after school clubs. Guitar club? Awesome! I want to help up with Drama and start a running club if they will let me :D I also read about a field trip where they went hiking in the mountains. So cool!

2. The food. I've been reading about all the delicious meat and veggies. Albanians love their fresh veggies and deep fried pockets with veggies and meat.

3. The school calendar. There are several Saturdays where I have inservice, but they are usually followed with a Friday off so I can travel. (bucket list of places to come soon)

4. My pay. Thanks to the U of M for putting me through a year long program of student teaching. I will be getting paid an additional 100 euros because of this.

5. The e-mail I just got from a first grade teacher. She told me that adjustment is fairly easy because the school is so helpful in finding a way to settle you in quickly and everyone is so welcoming. Doubts gone?

6. Folk music: apparently very popular in Albania, as well as folk dancing.

7. My backpacking trip with my brother. Why yes I already sent him the dates of my vacation so we can start planning.

8. The utter cliche of buying a one way ticket anywhere. Never thought I'd be the type to ever do such a thing.....crazy!

9. The climate: mild all year round. No extremes= one happy girl/runner :D

10. The language/flag: apparently the language is one of the hardest to learn. Super excited to learn at least enough to communicate. The flag looks so serious. Someone suggested I get a tattoo of it. We will see :D

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Day 331-March 25th: Job/Moving

So...I officially got a job in Tirana, Albania starting in August of 2012! Went out to celebrate with the brother, and it led to a full- out all day long celebration. Now it's time to prepare for teaching tomorrow. Oh the joys of being a grown up. So much planning will go into this next life move. But for tonight I sleep....hopefully.

Day 330-March 24th:freakout

I almost threw up today from the complete freakiness of the fact that tomorrow I might have a job. In Albania. I suddenly grew extremely scared, and then I reminded myself that the scariest choices I've made in life have reaped the greatest benefits. Really, any options for my future seem pretty scary at this point. A real job, living on my own, paying off's grown up stuff. But of all the options I can think of, Albania is the one that has the most potential of happiness, and growth. So IF I get offered a job, that is the route I will take.

Friday, March 23, 2012

Day 329-March 23rd: The Lion King

The Lion King is on and I'm lesson planning while watching it. I also managed to go on a 4.5 mile run tonight....not sure how. I guess it was just so beautiful out :D

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Day 328-March 22nd: Give me Love

I LOVED today! I had a pretty good day teaching, followed by a quick 3 mile run, and 5-guys with my roomie and his friend. His friend is currently writing some curriculum for a pre-K reading program, and has never taught before. He was asking for all sorts of advice. Anyway I'm kind of starting to like this song, so I thought I'd share.
Give me love like her,
'cause lately I've been waking up alone,

Paint splattered teardrops on my shirt,
Told you I'd let them go,
And that I'll fight my corner,
Maybe tonight I'll call ya,
After my blood turns into alcohol,

No, I just wanna hold ya.

Give a little time to me or burn this out,
We'll play hide and seek to turn this around,
All I want is the taste that your lips allow,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love.

Give me love like never before,
'cause lately I've been craving more,
And it's been a while but I still feel the same,
Maybe I should let you go,

You know I'll fight my corner,
And that tonight I'll call ya,
After my blood is drowning in alcohol,
No I just wanna hold ya.
M-my my, m-my my, m-my my, give me love, lover (give me love, love me),
M-my my, m-my my, m-my my, give me love, lover (give me love).

My, my, my, my, oh give me love,

Of all the money that e'er I had
I've spent it in good company

And all the harm that e'er I've done
Alas it was to none but me
And all I've done for want of wit
To memory now I can't recall

So fill to me the parting glass
Good night and joy be with you all

Of all the comrades that ever I had
They are sorry for my going away
And all the sweethearts that ever I had
They would wish me one more day to stay

But since it falls unto my lot
That I should rise and you should not
I'll gently rise and I'll softly call
Good night and joy be with you all

A man may drink and not be drunk
A man may fight and not be slain
A man may court a pretty girl
And perhaps be welcomed back again

But since it has so ought to be
By a time to rise and a time to fall
Come fill to me the parting glass
Good night and joy be with you all

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Day 326-March 20th: thunderstorms= Love

Yesterday night there was a huge thunderstorm. I mean, loud thunder, bright lights, and pouring rain. 

You know those Matchbox 20 lyrics about the girl who only sleeps when it's raining? Whenever I hear that line I swear to go it was written about me. I slept so insanely well last night that I only need half of my coffee this morning. I should really consider moving to Seattle. 

But guess what? It's only 8:20 and I'm heading to bed for the night. I am so happy right now. 

Monday, March 19, 2012

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Day 324-March 18th: Spring Cleaning!

I woke up this morning and tried to go back to sleep but was feeling decently motivated. So I went for a 2.5 mile run. Then I headed out with the roomies for breakfast at Legends. Yummy!

When I got home I was feeling utterly exhausted, so I tried to nap, but mostly just laid in my bed for 90 minutes. Then I knew it was time to get up and get started on my work. So I finished some lesson planning, printed materials for all my lessons tomorrow, and made some updates where needed.

I was going to start writing some lesson plans for later in the week, but just couldn't bring myself to do anymore work. All I wanted to do was clean out my closet and drawers and starting getting my stuff organized for when I move wherever I'm going. So I started. I got rid of 4 bags of clothes and other unnecessary things I've been keeping for no reason. And I brought up my shorts and tank tops and reorganized my closet. I put away my winter coat and my boots and remade my bed to have a lighter comforter. Maybe the spring cleaning was premature given that it's only March 18th, but I'm getting antsy to get out of here, and I needed a break from lessons.

Day 323-March 17th: St Patty's 2009

Nothing could ever compare to St. Patty's day in 2009. I was in Canada for spring break, and ended up at an epic bar with 2 irish bands playing. I think I danced more that night than I have since. There were of course other memorable things that happened, by I'm not going to share every last detail. Here's a picture of me and the girls with the band in the background. 

Friday, March 16, 2012

Day 322-March 16: Self Destruct

I need sleep. I haven't slept well in 4 days and the 3-5 hours a night isn't cutting it. Too many things to think about. And on top of it all I hit the self-destruct button tonight. I did something that I thought would be a good experience and turns out it was. Dang!

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Day 321-March 15th: The week I became a teacher and why

When I look back on my time this year it is clear to me that this is the week I became a teacher. Why, you ask? For several reasons.
1. I finally chose a few goals to work on instead of focusing on EVERYTHING at once. I'm a new teacher and I have a ton of goals, but my supervisor pulled me aside last week and told me to choose 2 to work on. And I did. And I was successful.
2. I worked my ass off. For real. I got to school at 6:50 everyday, left around 3:30 and came home and did more work from about 4:30-8:00. Insane, but worth it, because I can already see how it has and will pay off.
3. I became vulnerable. I broke down on Monday. But because of this vulnerability I finally faced my ultimate fear: that I won't be a good teacher. I expressed my concerns verbally to my co-teacher and several other people, and I realized my true weaknesses.
4. This quote:

I started to live my passion: teaching.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Day 320-March 14th: standards

Today I got sent some Albanian standards. Quite interesting to compare. I can't wait to spend more time looking at them, but I've been spending most of my time preparing for the insanity that will be my 2 full time weeks (starting monday:S). Today I wrote 6 days of my unit lesson plan. So much work, but I think I have some good lessons.

No final word on a job yet, but I'm hoping with all my might. God knows I could use the relief of having found a job on top of all this stress.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Day 319-March 13th: good day :)

Today we had a substitute teacher, and I rocked my classroom. I was stern by kind with the kids and they reacted positively. I got this quote today, and I loved it.

Destiny is not a matter of chance; it's a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for; it is a thing to be achieved.
- William Jennings Bryan

Monday, March 12, 2012

Day 318-March 12th: stress eating

Today started out great. I thought my morning lessons went splendid :) and then my transitions failed. It was such a rough day that at the end of it I almost went up to my co-teacher to quit my position. But I took my minute to calm myself and focus on the good parts of the day. I'm not sure what exactly I'm doing wrong, and after talking to my co-teacher she's not sure either. Tomorrow I'm going to make some serious observations and notes about what she does and then on Wednesday I will take over again, choosing a few things to work on. I was told by my supervisor on Friday that I have too nice of a tone for the kids to take me seriously. So I was given the homework to look in the mirror and try saying things in a number of tones until I found a kind but stern one. So tonight I did. And hopefully it will get better.

The cookie dough ice cream certainly helped....i have serious stress eating issues.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Day 316-March 11th: brother :D

last night I got an email that left me extremely frustrated. I texted my brother because I knew he'd be able to relate :) and he texted back this morning, asking me to meet for breakfast, so we met at legends at noon. Sometimes I forget about this amazing person that lives 2 blocks from me.

I don't realize how much I truly miss him until I see him. After living with each other for 2 years we've learned how to put up with each other's shit and talk our issues out. And today I talked and talked and he just had the perfect way to make me not be frustrated anymore.

And after talking about my dreams I fell in love with the idea of Albania :D I want to go so badly now. I made a few important decisions about my future.
1. I need to invest in a good international smart phone to assist me in all my travels. And i want it to have a good camera so i don't need to invest in one of those.
2. I need a good backpack. Especially if I end up in Europe, because I'm going backpacking. Albania's 3 week summer vacation with a paid stipend to travel home with not be used to go home, but to go backpacking through Europe like I've always wanted to.
3. If I go to Albania I need to make a European bucket list of all the things I want to do and see, because there is a lot. And I'm not going to take this experience lightly, I'm going to make the most of it. Sometime in my near future you can expect to see one.

Overall I'd just like to say that I love my brother. He is an amazing inspiration and asset in my life. He's helped me in ways I'm sure he doesn't even know about. I'm one lucky, lucky girl.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Day 316-March 10th: a wandering mind....

Today I had off of work to take my final MTLE exam....hopefully. If I passed it will be the last. I'm not sure how to feel about it. I got home at like 10....wasn't even suppose to finish until 11, and so I had some free time. What did I do with it?
First I swept the kitchen. Then I worked on a few lesson plans for next week. Miss Rebecca asked me to do yoga with her, so I did a quick 20 minutes and boy was I shaky from all the coffee I had, so I had a glass of water, a small snack and headed out for a run. It was beautiful out (53 degrees when I left) and so I ran 5.5 miles. It felt so incredible to be outside in the warm sun, and my shorts and t-shirt were almost too hot. I seriously contemplated taking off the T-shirt, but my ILP belly(as I like to call it due to the stress eating of the program) made me think twice. A really great song came on my iPod (I'll post it below.)

Once home I showered and shaved for the first time since my birthday, and then I made lunch and some brownies. I continued to work on lesson plans, searching for haikus to use for examples to help the kids write their own. I was getting pretty tired, considering my day so I decided to take a nap. I finished up my haiku lesson plan and crawled into my bed. And then my mind began to wander....mostly back to the lyrics of this song I heard on my run, and I started to cry. It seems that as long as I can keep my mind on my career, and the day to day job that I love so much, I'm fine. But the second I have time to think about my actual life my mind wanders to the one place I don't want it to go. So here is the song and the lyrics with underlined and bolded parts that I feel.

it's all that i remember a sober night alone
and it took all i had not to call you on the phone
know that i was made for you
there is nothing i can do about it

i ran outside the bar
ringing in my ears
and i don't understand
it's been that way for years
you know the world will fall apart
if you broke another heart

coats are 'round in hiding
and up against the wall
your guns were made of iron
and he came and saved us all
pick it up and take it out
in a world of hell and doubt

listen to the liars
as they run the world

holiest empires
but nothing lasts for sure

can you help me turn it off
well it's all i could ever want

Friday, March 9, 2012

Day 315-March 9th: my spots

So everywhere I live I end up having these special spots that I go to think, and sometimes to cry.
The marshfield spot was the pit. .5 miles from home, and sitting looking at something that wasn't really beautiful at all. But it was close by and a short walk away. mostly I needed the walk to calm down.

The minneapolis spot is somewhere directly in between the two places I live. Thank god! It's the wonderful elementary school 2 blocks away. Mostly I need to swing and listen to music and remind myself of where I'm going and who I want to be.

I almost stopped at this spot on my way home today, even though it was 8:15pm. It was a long day, and a hard day, and I was truly doubting whether or not I can do this teacher thing. But I can, and I will. because I love it.

Anyway, I got to wondering about my future places. If i'm in Kenya will it be under a tree? if I end up in Korea, will it be some quiet pond? If I end up in Albania will it be a special coffee shop? who knows where my next special spot will be, but I'm sure I will find it.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Day 313-March 7th: Rough/exciting

Sometimes I wonder why every day seems to be so rough lately and then I realize that it's just that I'm at that point in my life where it's going to be.
I got contacted by my auto today about a possible job teaching english in Kenya. Excited!

Day 312-March 6th: Sickness

Sickness has finally fallen upon me. I knew my streak was too good to last.
This was the quote on my tea:
To learn, read.
To know, write.
To master, teach.

Monday, March 5, 2012

Day 311-March 5th: Grown up!

Today I completed a whole bunch of grown up things:
1. submitted my TPA exam (aka my thesis)
2. payed my taxes
3. got my invite and R.S.V.Ped for commencement in May.
4. applied for a job in Taiwan.
5. began filling out my interview questions for my potential job in Albania.

being a grown up is a lot of responsibility, but i think I'm ready....

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Day 310- March 4th: Anywhere

It's official! Next year at this time I could be anywhere. In fact, come July I could be anywhere. Last night I spent some time looking at jobs abroad and I officially applied to a job in Albania and one in Taiwan. Here goes.....

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Day 309- March 3rd: Red Light

I saw this guy live, for free 2 summers ago. Anyway I guess he's like a big deal now. This is his biggest hit, and I love it! I spent a good hour listening to him on spotify.

Friday, March 2, 2012

Day 308-March 2nd: Rough

Today was a rough day at school. Its a good thing that 1 good day of teaching can get me through 3 bad days. I'm still learning and I'll be the first to admit I have a lot to learn. But it won't happen overnight.

To fix the rough I went to the gym for a long run and then came home and ate half a box of girl scout cookies. End of story.

Day 307-March 1st: The Ropes of Speed Dating

Tonight I took a step out of my comfort zone and crossed an item off of my bucket list :) Tonight I went to a speed dating event. It was a free event, except for the one glass of wine I bought. There was delicious food and I took my 2 friends with me for support. At first we just sort of awkwardly wove our way into a conversation with 3 other guys. Eventually we discovered that there was a separate room for the "speed" portion of the night. So we moved in there and started our evening. I talked to a bout 10 guys total. I think each person was from a different place (India, Kajakstan, New York, China, Argentina) and each was studying something different. Additionally there were men of all levels. One of the guys was in his 4th year of med school and look like he was about 30, and the youngest was 23 and in his 2nd year of clinical psychology.

It was great for my social skills. I was forced to ask and answer questions that allowed me to really learn about myself. I started analyzing why I was such a planner, in front of a complete stranger, nonetheless. We got a number card in the beginning and you were supposed to write down the number of the people you were interested in. If both of you write down each other's numbers then they will send you the persons contact info.

I went in thinking that I wouldn't meet anyone interesting and that even if I did I wouldn't do anything about it. Well....I wrote down two numbers and turned that card back in. We'll see if anything comes of it, but I doubt it.

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Day 306- February 29th: Leap Day!

Today was a scary day. First there was the drive into school. It was a scary drive, but worth it for my kids. And then the fact that a lot of teachers were late/missing. And so I worked on my flexibility as things weren't going quite according to plan. Our nature presentation also got cancelled. I really think I am getting better at being flexible :)

After school I had class. During this time they taught us about how to apply for our license and jobs. Very informative. I learned a lot about resumes/cover letters and will have to once again re-write them. *sigh* All part of the job hunt I suppose. I was also reminded to check what comes up online when I type my name in. Turns out this blog is the first thing they will get. I better attempt to make it professional....

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Day 305-February 28th: a few quotes

This quote comes from my friend. He wants to start his own personal training company, and I asked him for some tips since I keep getting injured. He told me I have learn to take time out of my day to warm up and stretch. This kid knows me too well. I skip stretching far to often because I just don't have the 5 minutes to do it. This was the quote I got back:
"Laziness and procrastination are the enemy of results." - Kevin Reeverts

Then I went and read my quote of the day in my e-mail inbox. Turns out I forgot to check it yesterday, 
so I had 2 and they were both incredible!

In relation to time and how you chose to spend it:
Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey. It reminds us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived.
- Jean Luc Picard

Makes me want to spend less time on this stupid blog and more time on real things. And the other one relates to my decision about where to teach. If I can find a program that allows me to make as much money and progress as I could here, then I should do it. 

When you cannot make up your mind which of two evenly balanced courses of action you should take - choose the bolder.
- William Joseph Slim

Monday, February 27, 2012

Day 304- February 27th: Ain't No Rules

A few weeks ago I got Spotify and I love it. Basically you can listen to whole albums for completely free. I've been using it to check out all these artist that I love one song from. I posted one song from this artist before, back in like January. Anyway I fell in love with this song today. Underlined/bolded stuff that makes sense to me. 

The city buildings take my breath away 
The men who built them they risked their lives to say 
You gotta lose everything to know 
That you could gain the whole world if you don't 

When your fate’s tied to a balance beam 
And your feet could cost you everything 
You gotta break all the rules to know 
That there ain't any rules anymore 

You could stand in the rain to know my love won’t wash away 

I might bend until I break so I can see that I'm afraid 
But we won't know who we are without risking it all 
Baby I’ll risk you if you risk me too 

See her children how they learn to fly 
They fall from heaven in a blink of an eye 
I've seen her risk everything she's known 
Until there's nothing to fear anymore 

I saw an angel fly through hell today 
And as she passed I thought I heard her say 
Beauty isn't meant to be owned 
Unless you share with the rest of the world

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Day 303-February 26th: Back to work

Another day spent in bed. Just one more....and then it's back to work. It's weird how much I hate laying around. I wish I could do it about 1 day a month though. Since I know it won't happen for awhile I soaked it up over this break. I'm ready to go back. I miss my kidos and I worry about them.

Day 302-February 25th: Things I learned at a party

Wow. We decided to have a party last night and to say it got a little out of control would be an understatement. I spent the majority of my night juggling the chaos of having a bunch of people I randomly know there who don't know each other.

I started out my night with a great chat from one of my old friends who recently studied abroad. I haven't seen him in a about a year and half so it was nice to catch up. I got some advice about teaching abroad: do it.

Then I played some catch phrase and started drinking. I talked to my roommates friend, whom i've hated with a passion mostly because he's a viking fan. At the last party we had a made him a bet. Something about me running naked if the vikings EVER win the superbowl. Anywho.....turns out he's a great guy. I got to talking with him about what he does for work. He works for a company that sets up programs to help kids from inner city schools get on an educational and financial path to college. He basically talked my ear off about how much he loves his job. Don't ever judge a book by it's cover. I definitely thought he was just some lazy college student.

Then I went to the neighbors party with him to look for our roommate (who was completely insane.)  Upon arriving back I got asked to have a little chat in my room from my ex. What ensued was me completely breaking down in tears(I cried for about and hour after this), realizing how emotionally messed up I am, and a very rude and uncalled for text to another ex. Dumb Tiara....this is why you don't try to be friends with your ex boyfriends. Lesson learned? Eventually I calmed down and went to bed. Thank god.....

The roomies prior to the craziness....except Devi, who is always cray-z!

Friday, February 24, 2012

Day 301-February 24th: Perfectly Imperfect

This may be a long post. Because a) I'm hungover in bed b) its freezing out and my "long" walk turned into a very short walk and c) I'm procrastinating beginning work on my unit plan because I have no idea how to teach social studies.

Last night I went out to the bar and the specials for the night ($1 rail drinks and $2.50 long islands) seemed impossible to say no to. So I stayed out until 2am and came home to shove some more food in my mouth. I slept until 10:30 so my long morning walk turned into a noon walk.

It was suppose to be a long walk with a nice cup of coffee. It turned into a hungover walk where I happened to be walking directly into the wind. So I only made it a mile. But, I took some pictures of my favorite place.

I also figured that I better get a picture of myself with the city before I leave it, so here it is :) Not the greatest picture considering I was in last night's make up.

I also got my birthday present in the mail yesterday. I bought it for myself. It's a plain sterling silver ring that is engraved with the words "Perfectly Imperfect." I'm not perfect, but my imperfections make me who I am, so why not rejoice in them? I ordered the ring from a company called Endorphin Warrior. They make jewelry for runners who are training and need a motto to help them along the way. I love it!

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Day 300- February 23rd: Solitude

One thing I really like about the morning is that it feels so quiet and calm. At least on a college campus. Today I woke up and went to a delicious breakfast at Al's with my roommate Alyssa. Then I didn't really feel like coming home to get started on my to-do list, so I grabbed a cup of coffee from ERC and walked to stone arch bridge. It was the quietest I've ever seen. only 4 runners past me the whole time. So I just stood on the bridge sipping my coffee and listening to my music in complete solitude. I thought about my life and the decisions I've made.  I got this sudden feeling that even though I have no idea what the next 6 months hold I'm perfectly prepared for it (though my large to do list would say otherwise.) Loved my moment of relaxation and solitude. And tomorrow I plan on doing the same thing....because when will be my next chance to go for a long walk and drink coffee?

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Day 299- February 22nd: Respect

Today I drove to Faribault to pick up one of the kids from the academy for the blind. Agh! I got so insanely lost and this puppy kept running in front of my car and I nearly killed it 3 times. I was screaming/swearing at it. How can you not understand that you need to get out of the way of a moving vehicle?? Anyway after I finally lost it on a road where I could go a little faster I came across a cool sign. If I hadn't been 30 mins late to pick this child up I might have stopped to look closer. And turned out after doing some research it may have been an anti abortion sign, but what I took from it is what I'm still going to use. All I saw was "Respect Life." And I thought to myself "Absolutely." I don't have to love life, or even like it right now, and lets face it at this moment I didn't. But I still had to respect it, because it's a gift, and an authority figure. The more respect I give it perhaps the more I'll get in return??

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Day 298-February 21st: Torture

My boredom has led me to torture myself. I went on a 4 mile run through awful piles of snow. Then I watched 2 horrible movies while I wrote lesson plans. I was going crazy sitting on the couch so I got up and went to clean my room and get ready for the day (at 4 pm.) As I was doing my hair I grabbed a scissors, my trash and stood overtop the trash can with scissors in my hand ready to chop of my bangs. Why is this so difficult? Why can't I just cut them? Finally I got frustrated, made myself some coffee and went for a walk. Yesterday I walked/ran 9 miles, today I did 5. I'm so insanely sore and bored out of my mind. I'm starting to think I should have planned a trip somewhere. Too late I'll just have to be super bored for the rest of the week.
To top it all off I had to fill out a form for my career counseling. After filling out the form I decided that I probably need some actual counseling. My emotions are all fucked up and I need to get them figured out at some point.
Like I said the free time is torturing. I think I'm a workaholic.

Monday, February 20, 2012

Day 297-February 20th: bluegrass

Today I had a great day off. I went to the gym, and then fixed my resume and cover letter. Then I walked to career services to turn in some paper work, walked home and walk back to west bank to get my taxes done. Turns out I owe money this year :( overall it's only like 100 dollars, but it still sucks. Then I went to work and got paid to sit in a waiting room and read. I followed up the evening with a scary ride home in the snow and a trip to the 331 to dance to some bluegrass. Anyone who can listen to bluegrass without dancing has no soul. I think all I really want out of my future partner is someone who can dance with me.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Day 296- February 19th: A post from "Training"

So today was a day that was beautiful out. So warm. I woke up and watched a great movie called Happy Thank You More Please. Then I went for a run. It was incredible. Read about it here.  Then I went to work and we got to play outside. I came home and made tacos. yum!

Day 295- February 18th: TBT and dinkytown

I finally made a Trampled by Turtles cd for my car. Probably a bad idea. I already listen to it too much. I took a day off of the gym and running. I did walk to dinkytown to try my hand at drinking. Awful. I also ingested a shamrock shake, a McDouble, and fries. Afterwards I almost forced myself to vomit because I felt so sick.

Friday, February 17, 2012

Day 294- February 17th: Cold!

Our heat isn't working. And I'm freezing and I wish I had a man to keep me warm. But I'm really enjoying watching a movie in my big bed. And waiting for the landlord to call back and tell me when the gas company is coming.

Day 293-February 16th: Of Monsters and Men

I love this song!

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Day 292-February 15th: MTLE

Today I got my MTLE results from the 3 content exams. I passed them all! So glad I don't have to waste anymore time or money on them. Now I set my sights on passing the pedagogy exams in 3 and a half weeks. I also had a splitting headache for most of the day.
This what my quote today, and I love it :)

Plunge boldly into the thick of life, and seize it where you will, it is always interesting.
- Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Day 291-February 14th: Valentines Day

I hate this holiday.  My valentines day message for you is as follows: Love should be celebrated 365 days of the year, not on some random day of the year decided on by Hallmark. Show your love every single day and to everyone you can.

I got to thinking about love today, and the love I've had and the love I've lost. I came to the following conclusion: As much as I hate being single I'm still so hurt from the last man I loved (and still love) that there is no way I'm ready to put my heart on the line for anyone else. Before I can take the chance of having it broken again I need to give it the time it needs to become whole and complete. If I don't, then any relationship I start will be half-hearted. And let's face it: I'm not the kind of girl who goes into anything half hearted (unless it is something I really dislike.) When I teach I teach my heart out. When I clean I do it well. When I drink I drink a lot. When I love, I will love my heart out.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Day 290-February 13th: rambling

I did way too much yelling at children today. I didn't like it one bit, but sometimes it is just required.

Also, I think I've probably gone completely mad again. Or maybe I'm finally sane again? not sure on this one...
I made my first ever pros and cons list. I literally wrote it all out and then just like that all the cons got their asses whooped. Well the majority of them did.

I also got spotify! And ate leftover cake and ice cream. It was super yummy!

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Day 289- February 12th: Birthday

Wow. I'm 22. Where does time go? And when can I go back to age 7? That was a good year. I don't remember a lot about it, but I'm sure it involved less homework, less worrying, less concerns about the future, and a lot more fun. I'd like to take a moment to remember a few past birthdays. 13 was a good year. I remember having rip and dip cake. Yum! 18 sucked...I was sick. My mom had a small surprise party for me but I really didn't feel it. 19 involved pasta Thursday at the dorms, and my first cigarette. Sad to say it wasn't my last. (no worries. I only went through like 4 packs in my lifetime and I think my ex smoked the majority of them.) 20 sucked...I was sick. My boyfriend came over and made me soup and mashed potatoes, we watched some tv and cuddled and I gave him a ride to work. On the way there he told me something that sadly became very true. He told me that year 20 and 21 would be the toughest of my life. And they have been.
But truth be told I think year 22 is going to be just as hard, if not harder. But heres the great part: It finally matters. All the work in school will be implemented in a real job. All the living off of no money will pay off, since I have some money to travel now. And all that heartache has only made me a stronger girl. Basically what I'm saying is: Fuck you year 22. I'm gonna whoop your ass!