Friday, January 13, 2012

Day 259- January 13th: The length of love

So it's time for that really good entry I wanted to write. I was thinking the other day about things I'm currently in love with: Music, coffee, my bed, peanut butter, ice cream, food in general, running, The Harry Potter Series. (As an aside, it is very sad that I just stopped to look in my MTLE study book if I was supposed to capitalize 'the' in "The Harry Potter Series," which is very sad. I do capitalize it, because it refers to an important work of literature.) Anyway....I got to thinking about how and why I fell in love with these items. Music aids my in all aspects of life, I rely on it for everything, and I've been in love with it for a long time. Coffee keeps me awake, but I've been in love with it for a fairly brief period of time.

 I wanted to see if there was a correspondence to how long I've loved something versus how easily it would be to give it up. My thought process was initially I should quit drinking coffee before I get addicted and don't even get me started on the ice cream. Then I started comparing it to people. I love my family a lot, and could never give them up. But in all truth I've been in love with many other people. I love the kids I work with, and yes it will be easier to give them up than my family, but this has nothing to do with the time I've loved them for, but with the relationship I have with them.

The I thought back to what we discussed in my staff meeting, about focusing on depth over breadth. I came to the following conclusion: It doesn't matter how long you've loved someone or something (breadth) but how passionately and endlessly you love it or him/her (depth.)

And then I came to another conclusion about how insanely hopeless my situation is based on the first conclusion I made. I'm screwed. My love is so endless, that nothing that happens will ever convince me that it shouldn't be there. No matter how many times I learn the lesson or hear other people tell me that its a bad decision (and yes that is the correct form of "its") I will still offer my endless love.

But is my passion, and ability to forgive over and over, really a fault? I guess at this point in my life I can't answer that question. Only time will tell.

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