Today I had orientation for my Masters of Education program. I found most of it extremely frightening. Seriously. 18 credits a semester + full time teaching + grad school prices= yikes! And of course this led to a freakout about whether or not I really want to be a teacher. A little to late for that. I have however discovered several ways to calm myself once these freakouts occur, due to a great many experiences with them in the last several years of my life.
1. Remember that I have control of very few things in my own life. I do, however, have control of how good of a teacher I will be. And let me tell you, I plan on being a damn fine one.
2. I focus on all the great teachers I've had, and remember how they have inspired me. I also think of all the terrible teachers I've had to remind myself that I want to be better.
3. I visit one of my favorite places. Tuttle Elementary school is about one block away from where I live now. This school was closed down the year I moved in due to budget cuts. It is my dream to one day re-open it and partner with the University's Education program to help train teachers.
4. I think about my support system. My parents may not be able to fully support my financially, (and why should they?) but they are super supportive of all my education decisions, and help whenever they are able.
5. I play music. One sad song and then I must get off my ass and dance to something happy. (today it was "one more love song" followed by "shot in the arm.")
6. I cry. Sometimes. Every once in awhile it's good to let out all that pent up anger, guilt, and worry.
7. I run. 2-3 miles does the body, and the mind a lot of good.
8. I talk to my bestie.
I fully plan on accomplishing all of these things today. I was hoping to get my student teaching placement so I could contact my advising teacher and start getting to know him/her and their teaching style. They don't have any official news for us, but we should know in a few weeks. I, however, was talking to the director of the program after (she was my professor for 2 classes in my undergrad) and she informed me that I would be somewhere in columbia heights, with a highly organized teacher. This made me relieved. I'm not exactly in an urban school like I wanted to be, but I'm close. And she informed me that I was placed here because there weren't very many good teachers at the grade level I want to teach in the urban schools. Plus, she knows I'm a very organized person and wanted me to be with someone who has a similar teaching style.